Alena Giyanovskaya: What is emotional etiquette and why is it so important for success and a happy life

The concept of emotional intelligence has long and firmly entered our lives. Although once it caused skepticism in society.

But emotional etiquette is something new and unusual.

Today we talked with Alena Giyanovskaya, an expert on the development of Emotional Intelligence and Personal Productivity, founder of the international network AMOGRACE NEW, head of Shabshai Spa Center Nahirna, representative of the American-Israeli holding Shabshai Technology in Eastern Europe, who told us about emotional etiquette and its importance in everyone’s life.

Alena, tell us what emotional etiquette is. Is it some kind of etiquette, rules of conduct in society?

I would say that emotional etiquette is the basis of any other kind of etiquette.

For example, imagine that you are at an important business meeting, on which a lot depends on you. Suppose we are talking about large sums of money, which always makes the negotiations especially aggravated.

According to etiquette, you need to perform a series of actions, say the right words, pay attention to your opponent. But there is some force majeure. And so, if you own emotional etiquette, you can not succumb to the situation, but show the necessary reaction and withstand the norms of etiquette that are prescribed for your meeting.

If your skill of emotional etiquette is not developed properly, it will be practically impossible to get out of the situation. Your reaction will overwhelm you, and you may make mistakes that will prevent your plans from being realized.

By the way, often deals are not made based on verified figures. And based on intuition. And here, if your emotional etiquette is at a high level, you will inspire due confidence.

That is, emotional etiquette is a rather complex concept. This is knowledge, skills, and the ability to be in the here and now. Also a popular term, the meaning of which many can not fully understand. But this is what distinguishes emotional etiquette from all other types. That it is not strictly regulated. It comes from the present moment. Owning it is akin to art, not a craft.

How did you get acquainted with the topic of emotional etiquette?

I would say that I went to him all my life (Smiles). I grew up in a family where the aristocracy of emotions was as important as education. And that’s how I raised my beautiful children.

But I started professionally developing the topic of emotional etiquette in 2016. At that time, I was already the first franchisee in Ukraine of the Emotional Health Center Amograce, created by the geniuses of our time Efim and Galina Shabshai.

The educational project «‎Emotional Etiquette» incorporates the best Amograce NEW methods and my own experience as an expert.

My life and my profession are connected with this project. They are my mission.

Tell us about the benefits of your educational project «‎Emotional Etiquette».

The most important advantage of the project is its versatility.

Whoever you are, this is your key to realizing your desires and goals. No matter how old you are, you can learn this. No matter how your life changes, you can always rely on these skills as a foundation.

We are often looking for a «‎magic pill» — a certain method, a life principle that will guide us and help us solve life’s problems. So emotional etiquette can be compared with such a «‎pill», only this is not a medicine that someone gives us, but a tool that we always have at hand, as they say.

Why is emotional etiquette so important in business and career?

«‎Clothes make the man» — do you remember this saying? And even more recently, it was of fundamental importance. In truth, until now, appearance is still an indicator of success, status, and even professionalism. But times are changing, and the most successful people prefer a deliberate simplicity that won’t overshadow them.

Today, external attributes are not enough for real success. This will be a good addition to who you really are. This will speak of your respect for yourself and others. It will complement what you have inside.

If we are talking about a career, then someone who has not only professional knowledge can succeed now. Building the right relationships with the team, with clients, partners, saving face in crisis situations is always the result of observing emotional etiquette.

In business and negotiations, every little thing counts. I would say that the little things just do not exist. And emotional etiquette gives what Yefim Shabshai calls «an emotional advantage».

Is there a place for emotional etiquette in family and relationships?

Family is where everything starts. Education, familiarization with society, the transfer of traditions and values, teaching morality and moral principles — all this is given to a person by a family. I have already said that my family has become the foundation on which I have built my life; which led me one day to meet the Shabshai family. And thanks to what I am now engaged in the business of life.

Children are born pure receivers of everything that surrounds them. They absorb everything they see around them: the behavior of adults, words, gestures, manners, principles of relationships. Is there a place for emotional etiquette in the family? Yes, this is the basis of the relationship between spouses if they want to raise emotionally healthy children.

Further, emotional etiquette will help create close and harmonious relationships among children, as well as between generations.

What advice would you give to our readers?

The best I can wish for the readers is continuous improvement. True connoisseurs of life, namely such people are the readers of this magazine, are well aware that the world does not stand still, and improvement is not a necessity. This is a way to have fun, not lose meaning and achieve what you want.

And emotional etiquette is perfection.


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